There are more delicate ways of saying this, but football is not a delicate sport: the Horned Frogs are number one this week because they beat some ass.
How much ass? Piles of it. Railcars full of it. Market distortions happened because of the amount of ass TCU beat in its 44-31 win over Oklahoma State. Shipments of ass had to be rerouted from other supply lines of ass in order to be rerouted to Stillwater, where Gary Patterson and his team beat it. Cowboys booster T. Boone Pickens probably made a killing by buying shares of ass in the first quarter, and moving them around the market. He’s a Pokes fan, yes, but he’s an investor first, and he’s not going to turn down a profit when he sees one.
But TCU gave up 31 points.
Run your conversion charts. In a Big 12 game, 31 points is like 22 points in an ACC game and 10 in a Neanderthal SEC game. That’s Oklahoma State. They’re going to get points, including at least one TD off a perfectly thrown deep ball you can do nothing about. The impressive part comes in granting those points, destroying any sense of balance by stuffing the run game, and responding by running the ball with Darius Anderson, controlling the pace, then waiting on Oklahoma State to press and hand over some turnovers.
It’s an old-school approach to facing a high-powered offense, retrofitted with new school trappings, all installed by a defensive coach who understands the realities of winning in the Big 12. For this week, while the ass markets slowly recover, TCU will be No. 1.
Flattened Mississippi State, 31-3, and gets the MVP for eliminating any need to watch their game at all on a busy Saturday night. That’s how to courteously save time for the busy viewer: leap out to a lead, extinguish all hope of the opponent moving the ball, and wrap it up in about 20 minutes of actual time.
The offense looked fine, but the Georgia defense looked horrifying against a very good offense, dominating point-to-point along the line of scrimmage.
This is to say that even if the Georgia offense doesn’t get to throw a flea-flicker for a TD on its first play of a game, the defense can keep them in any game, no matter how low the score.
Now that I’ve said nice things about them and given them a prime ranking for one week, watch them lose to Tennessee this coming weekend.
Don’t look at what they did to Vanderbilt in a 59-0 win. Only know that they ran 66 times for six TDs, and that Satan still…