I’ve recently come across some articles and heard the latest theories about the phenomenon of white anxiety as a precursor to the rise of the era of Trump and Trumpism. Essentially, there’s an overwhelming sense of dread that, based on impending demographic trends, has old white people especially worried about their place on the food chain.
White people are afraid of becoming a minority and thus afraid of all of the negative connotations that come with the minority status they’ve placed on others. They’re afraid that when they lose their numerical advantage to the “others,” we’re going to mete upon them what’s been foisted upon us.
And you know what? They’re totally right to worry.
We’re definitely coming for them. Black people have been planning the revolution for years (hint: it won’t be televised).
Oh yes, it’s the statues first, and after we’ve yanked all those metal mothafuckin’ monuments down, we’re coming to finish the job on white people in total.
Those two New Black Panthers outside the Philadelphia polling station in 2012? That was the advance team. Your grandparents tried to warn you, but you didn’t listen.
To put it simply, as soon as we find out that white people are no longer a majority (we have a Google alert set), we’re kicking off the revolution. It’s coming. Fox News has been right this whole time. That said, this article is strictly based on discussions being held within the black delegation. We haven’t finalized any plans nor have we been in consultation with our friends from the Latinx, Asian or Native-American organizations, but we’re pretty sure we’re all working on some level of demographic-based revenge.
If you’re white and you’re reading this, this is your warning. If you’re black, think of this as our blueprint for a new America.
We’re shutting down the comments section.
Let’s be honest—there’s always some racist shit going down in the comments section. If we’re gonna get really real, we could probably draw a direct line between racists being empowered to publicly vent racist shit in comments sections and the ascension of an openly racist president. There’s something to be said about the anonymity of the internet and the anonymity of the voting booth that emboldens people to dispense with their pleasant facades and embrace the hate within.
Nah, fuck all that. The revolution demands that you say that shit to our faces.
The days of talking that…